Like me, you’ve probably seen articles floating around on the web recently about the concept of toxic positivity. Maybe there’s even someone in your life that immediately comes to your mind who annoys you because she/he is all Pollyanna sunshine.
But do you know the difference between what’s being called “Toxic Positivity” and real honest-to-goodness heart-felt radiance?
I feel like people get them confused and assume that anyone who’s too happy or too nice is being fake and inauthentic. But that’s just not always the case.
Here’s how to tell the difference:
Toxic positivity is forced, inauthentic, and fake. These people want you to find the silver lining even when the sky is falling down on your head. The words they share come from their mind rather than their heart. And they build thick walls to distance themselves from their personal pain while trying to focus on good thoughts only. On the inside- these people are caught in a huge tug-of-war between their body and their mind, and between their pain and personal choice mindset.
Heart-felt radiance is something quite different. It’s real and bubbles up from deep inside one’s self. It happens authentically after someone has spent time and energy looking at and working through their past traumas and deep emotions.
When they’ve gained tools and practices to learn to lean into their pain and handle their current and future challenges with resilience, acknowledgment, and love of self.
After they’ve learned to befriend their inner critic and nourish their own heart.
And when they’ve learned to soften into their body-mind, respect their nervous system, and become their true authentic self. Inside, there is no tug-of-war. It’s just a warm, safe, inviting place of alignment.
It doesn’t happen overnight. You can’t just say I’m deciding to radiate joy from here on out and make it happen. To feel this good is an evolution that happens over time when much healing has taken place. To get here is not a choice you make, it’s a delightful surprise you are gifted after the work is done.